0 Faith, Works, and a Whole Lot of Happiness

Life is amazing.

I'm working, loving my 25-hours-a-week job, and enjoying being Wife to my Best Friend.

Annnnnnd, we're getting excited to move to our own little apartment - HOME   in roughly two weeks.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's how happy I am.

That's all,

1 Um

Digiorno, our last fish, has passed on, due to what I believe was internal bleeding and a broken fin as a result of the three-foot drop that he suffered about four days ago.

I'm really down with not getting another pet anytime soon.

The end.

1 In Other News

My last two posts have been very serious, and for a good reason, but I do want to write on a lighter note and talk about the more fun side of the past few weeks.

Once upon a time, there were two people, and husband and wife, who were out on the town for date night. On their way home from a rather unsuccessful trip to AT&T and T-Mobile, the wife talked her darling husband into stopping at the pet store to look at the puppies. [cue this picture]

[as a side note, Husband has the phone, so I can't exactly post the photos that are supposed to go along with this story - thank goodness for viewing instagram accounts without mobile devices]

After a while, they moseyed their way over to the aquatic animals, and, on a whim, the husband indulged his wife and bought four goldfish.

They took their treasures home, named them after pizza (as that was the pregnant wife's current craving) and put them in their fish bowl. In their excitement, they dumped way too much food in for them to somehow devour before the bowl got too dirty, and went crazy decorating the lovely glass fish home with dry erase markers.

The wife, who was just becoming acquainted with instagram, decided to snap some photos and send them on their way to the world of Who Really Cares, with their lovely little hashtag buddies.

Later that evening, her rash post became the shock of a dear friend who went on to ask innocently, "Wait, are you having quadruplets?" and sent her (the wife) into fits of hysterical laughter.

After two days of living in a glass bowl with his three compatriots, Wise Guy decided to bite the water. To this day, his death is a mystery. { sniff sniff}

Lots of really tough things found their way into the young happy couples' life, and through an accidental move on the worst day possible at the worst possible moment, the poor husband watched as Lotsa Motsa slipped down the bathroom sink drain. . . .

Two days later, also at a really bad time, Little Caesar randomly decided to leave his buddy Digiorno all alone, and he expired. [stole that from Andy Griffith's Hamlet, just so's you know]

Now, three weeks from the day that he was brought to his new home, little Digiorno - or now rather big Digiorno - is alive and kicking (er, swimming), despite coming face-to-face with death in the form of a  three-foot fall and struggling for breath for a good thirty seconds. Also, he is quite like his mother - very much a spaz.

The endish, except not, because he is still alive.

Next, let's talk about Settlers of Catan. Husband got the normal 3-4 player game for an early birthday present from one set of adopted grandparents. Since we're living with his family, his brothers are normally available for us to pick on when we really, really need a Settlers fix, and that means that we've been playing almost non-stop.
Unfortunately, that game tends to heat things up a bit, and actually, our very first marital strife came from that game. Still, we play. (Face it, it's addicting cutting people off and racking up victory points, or not.)

It was a happy night when we got the expansion.

After that, comes myveryfirstmemes.
Hah.

#itrytoohard

Lastly, for now, I just want to tell you all how much I love and adore the game "Dictionary" (also known as "Balderdash"). We play with our phones and text the person our definitions then have them read them off randomly so that no one can guess the persons' definition by the order of putting-their-phone-down-and-hearing-a-vibration-from-the-phone-of-the-person-whose-turn-it-is. So much better than trying to decipher everyone's handwriting. >.<

When definitions like "The act of loving my wife shamelessly" comes from using the word "Fredaine", it's immediately my very most favorite game. [Also when "Fredaine" really means "Freeing the Danish slaves", but not really. Life is wonderful.]

Also, I have the best in-laws/brothers and sisters ever. Just sayin'.

That is all,

1 Growing Pains

Hello, friends. It has been a while. :)

I have had so much on my mind lately, but it has been difficult getting it all out intelligibly. I think today I might finally make some headway and make sense and attempt a much-needed update.

Well, I am now two weeks post-miscarriage. It is hard to think that if our angel baby was still growing inside of me she would be going on eleven weeks gestation. Still, as much as I miss our baby, I am grateful to be healing and recuperating and not worrying about the life of the child inside of me. I was lacking enough folic acid, even with my careful diet and prenatal vitamins, and my body was not ready to carry a child full-term. Baby is safe, and I am doing all that I can to prepare for a second pregnancy and a healthy child. Through the Lord's mercy.

I am working outsideofthehome part-time now, and I am loving it. I get to work in the same office as my Daddy, and since my Darling husband and I can't be together while he is at work too, it has been good for me to have at least one family member to keep an eye on me while I do things that are productive and fulfilling. Having lists of things to do, people to talk to, and an adopted family and support team outside of my home keeps me up and going. This opportunity has literally saved my life, and it has also made it possible for Patrick and I to move into our own home. !!!!!!!!!

We began apartment-hunting last week, the day before I began my new job. Since then, we have looked through two apartments and applied for one of those two. !!!!! The first place we checked out was a basement studio apartments. Let me tell you, even with two bedrooms, a kitchen and dining room, and our own washer and dryer, that place was a worse alternative to what we currently have now: a bedroom and bathroom with a decent-sized closet. Everything was miniature, which I thought was fun and cute, and was pretty sure that I could handle just fine, being that I'm already accustomed to not having much space, but the really big problem was that there was only one window, and that one was tiny. As Patrick commented, "No windows, no light, is conducive to major depression." And as him and both of fathers questioned, "What is it, a dungeon?" Um, yeah. I am pretty certain that moving into a depressing prison house when I am already down will not help me feel better. Nope.
So now we're looking at a two bedroom ground-level apartment with big windows and lots of natural light and a really-good-sized kitchen and lots of closet space. We applied yesterday and have been praying endlessly for it since. Our view is that, if that is the place the Lord has prepared for us, then as we have done all that is in our physical power, He will bless us with an approved application. If He has another home in store for us, then we will wait as patiently as we can and accept His will. Either way, He is in control. Moving out will be crucial to our growth and development. We have faith that we will find a place.
Prayers, happy thoughts, and positive vibes would be greatly appreciated and graciously accepted. :)

Now I want to turn to the most serious side of this update. My testimony.
I never thought that I would have to go through the pain of losing a child, especially in just the early stages of pregnancy, but I did. Yet, through that excruciating, agonizing, terrifying, faith-trying experience, I have grown to love my Savior more deeply, and to appreciate His Sacrifice for us with greater reverence and respect. He bled for every sin that we would commit. He carried every burden that any of us would ever tremble under. He knows and understands every pain and anguish. He selflessly gave His very life so that every one of us who chooses can return to live with Him and His Father in eternal glory and reward. He is there for us when no one else is, when no one else understands, when no one or nothing else can dull the pain, when our tears are endless and sting with bitterness. He has been here for me, for my husband, as we cope with the loss of precious child. There are times when I allow myself to doubt His love, and for that I am ashamed, but in the moments that I need Him most, HE IS THERE. He is real. He is my Strength and Comfort in the times when my husband is not able to be. He knows my heart. He carries me, He holds my hand, He is lifting me above the crashing waves, even as I struggle to breath in the very depths of this storm. One day my fears and heartaches will be swallowed up in His Light. He is my God. I know.
And through that knowledge, I also know that our baby girl will be ours forever, if we faithfully keep the Covenants that we together made with God. We have been sealed in His Holy Temple, and our children are sealed to us. All of them. I will raise my daughter in a perfect place, one day. She will be mine. Ours. As we are His. 
I say these things not with perfect knowledge, but with a particle of faith, humbly, and in the name of my Lord and Master, Jesus the Christ. Amen.

The pains of growing up in His sight will not end. No, as I continue to strive with my little reserve of faith to do all that He asks, the opposition will grow. But then, so will the pleasures and joys. Children will grace our home. We have that promise. I will not lose hope. I will be the woman that my Father wants me to be. It will hurt, but God is with me. God is with us.

I have been blessed with a shoulder to cry on, a hand to squeeze, arms to run to, a heart to teach mine how to beat again; my faithful Companion, my Best Friend, my Eternal Love. I don't know how he is so strong for me, but he is. He carries me as the Lord carries us. He never gives up on me. He has faith in me. Word cannot describe me adoration, devotion, gratitude.

Thank you.

Life goes on.
We our in the hands of God.
Our joy will be full . . . and for that, I am eternally grateful.

1 Trial of Faith

My heart ached.
My head pounded.
My faith was tried.
I was in agony.

My womb was empty of the life that once grew there.